Midwife Visit & Baby's Heart Beat

I officially have a midwife! I never did interview any others, or even make more phone calls like I originally set out to do. Honestly, after meeting Kimm I just knew in my gut that this was the woman that would help bring my child into this world in the comfort of my home.

Michael and I went to see her today so that they could meet each other and to ensure that the three of us were on the same page. It was a quick meeting at the end of which we all agreed that we'd work around my pending insurance application and start prenatal visits with her as soon as possible.

My next (and last) prenatal visit at the free clinic is on Tuesday the 12th where I'll ask them to release my medical records to my midwife and finally be done with that place. I already caught a glimpse into the comfort of my visits with Kimm, since her home is her office. She sits on these cool pillows on the floor and I loved the fact that she checked for peanut's heart beat on her own couch.

Today was the third time I got to enjoy hearing peanut's heart beat but it was the first time that I got to record it. Strong and healthy and 145bpm I got overly emotional (as I usually do) and couldn't stop mumbling the words "There really is a baby in my belly!"

Needless to say, today was an amazingly spectacularly magical day. :) I couldn't be more pleased with how everything is turning out and hope that things will continue along the path of the peaceful home birth that I have envisioned.

Here is a sound clip of Baby's Heart Beat 4.8.11 :)

"Don't Worry" Letter to Peanut

Dear Peanut,

Mommy is very sorry that she has been crying so much today. It's not your fault and I hope I have not made you sad or worried by my emotional state. Mommy really really really wanted to see you today and was very disappointed when I was told that I'll have to wait two more months.

Your great-grandfather passed away one year ago today which also has me on a bit of a roller coaster. He was a special character but I am sure he would have been thrilled to meet you and would have spoiled you rotten. I am always celebrating the joy of having you and remembering where I was a year ago today makes you so much more special. I love you so much my little peanut and my tears today are just a reflection of overwhelming love.

Daddy was very good at comforting me today even though I know he was also sad that he didn't get to see you. He wouldn't have woken up so early and held an umbrella over me on this cold, yucky rainy day to get to the sonogram place if he hadn't been as excited as me!

I hope you heard my comforting whispers and felt my caresses today and that I didn't scare you too much. We love you and I know we'll get to see your beautiful face soon.

I  Love You Peanut,

Mommy

To Daddy, from Baby 2/7/11

Dear Peanut,
  
     In a few hours, daddy-to-be will be holding my hand & watching you grow inside me. I know you're excited to meet him so I've dedicated this poem from you to him to share tomorrow.

                                                                                                           Love, Mommy

Dear Daddy,

I do not have a face to see
Or put inside a frame.
I do not have soft cheeks to kiss.
I don't yet have a name.

Not yet can you hold my tiny hands
Nor whisper in my ear.
It's still too soon to sing a song
Or cuddle me so near.

But all that'll change come September
When they say I'm due.
I am your first born child
And I can't wait to meet you!

All I ask between now and then
Is your love for me to grow.
I promise I'll be worth the wait
Because of all the love we'll know!

So as you're waiting patiently
Please dream sweet dreams of me.
I cannot wait to be a part
Of this great family!

                                                                                                  I love you daddy,
                                                                                                     Baby                      




*When I chose this poem I was under the impression that my first prenatal visit would include a sonogram, but that actually won't happen until February 23rd. I also had the month blanked out until I was told our due date and filled it in as soon as I was told. Baby's name is also blanked out until we know if it's a boy peanut or girl peanut and decide on a name!

My second journal entry 2/7/11

"It's 2:30am & I'm so tired! Same group from last night came over & I've been cooking, baking & cleaning for 12 hrs (with Hubby's help of course). My cooking & cupcakes were a hit & so was my hot chocolate. I love getting compliments on things I make. =)

But really today's major event was not Greenbay winning the Superbowl, it was that I finally gave away over 80% of my "skinny Yami" clothes. Now that I know I'm pregnant I'm the most comfortable I've ever been in my own skin. Wish I could describe how amazing it feels to be growing a little peanut inside me! Daddy-to-be still has not let me make the announcement but it'll be that much more special when he's on board.

Two very important things I forgot to mention about Saturday (02/05): One - daddy-to-be likes the name Jeffrey for a boy. Just the fact that we had a brief conversation about names solidifies that he does know there's a peanut inside me. =) Two - when we went out to eat at Vegetarian Paradise I was extremely aware of the fact that I needed to order something nutritious. I chose the lemon soy chicken with steamed broccoli vs. the soy bbq ribs & fries. Hope peanut enjoyed his trees! Also, 02/05 was out 150th day of being vegan. =)

Okay, time for this mommy-to-be to get some sleep. 30 more hours until my 1st prenatal appointment. How exciting!"

My first journal entry 2/5/11

The days following the big news, I started to keep a journal filled with questions for the doctor, a page to list important dates and a place for me to write my feelings and letters to the baby. Here's what I wrote on February 5th:

"Today was such a difficult day! Spent time with Mike's brother, girlfriend & baby & later went to a friend's house for their birthday and I was not allowed to tell anyone about peanut! =( I guess daddy-to-be isn't ready to go public, but I did confide in Renesmee! It was still a great day spent among family & friends. Tomorrow they will come over to my house for Superbowl Sunday! I wonder if Hubby will have changed his mind by then or if he'll have to lock me up in the room to keep me quiet! =)

(I love you my little peanut & I know daddy does too. Counting down the hours to my first prenatal visit - I'm so eager to meet you!)  Love, Mommy"