Midwife Visit & Baby's Heart Beat

I officially have a midwife! I never did interview any others, or even make more phone calls like I originally set out to do. Honestly, after meeting Kimm I just knew in my gut that this was the woman that would help bring my child into this world in the comfort of my home.

Michael and I went to see her today so that they could meet each other and to ensure that the three of us were on the same page. It was a quick meeting at the end of which we all agreed that we'd work around my pending insurance application and start prenatal visits with her as soon as possible.

My next (and last) prenatal visit at the free clinic is on Tuesday the 12th where I'll ask them to release my medical records to my midwife and finally be done with that place. I already caught a glimpse into the comfort of my visits with Kimm, since her home is her office. She sits on these cool pillows on the floor and I loved the fact that she checked for peanut's heart beat on her own couch.

Today was the third time I got to enjoy hearing peanut's heart beat but it was the first time that I got to record it. Strong and healthy and 145bpm I got overly emotional (as I usually do) and couldn't stop mumbling the words "There really is a baby in my belly!"

Needless to say, today was an amazingly spectacularly magical day. :) I couldn't be more pleased with how everything is turning out and hope that things will continue along the path of the peaceful home birth that I have envisioned.

Here is a sound clip of Baby's Heart Beat 4.8.11 :)

Nutritional Stress

I have been vegan for 6 months. Well, it'll be 6 months exactly tomorrow. It was a decision that I made mostly for the health benefits and I've never looked back. In the past 6 months my energy has increased, I've learned how to cook and I am overall more involved with what goes into my belly. My decision to continue on my vegan journey is no longer limited to just the health benefits, but it involves ethical reasons as well. Now that I'm pregnant, I get a lot of extra attention to my choice of eating habits.

There is absolutely no medical proof that I need to eat animal products for the well being for my baby. Everything I need I can get from a vegan diet so long as I eat correctly. Same can be said for non-vegans. Stuffing your face with a double cheeseburger from a fast food joint doesn't mean you are meeting your protein needs for the day.

I have zero intention of changing my lifestyle now just because the majority of society seems to be close minded about the way I choose to eat. I struggle with this when I go to the doctor or every time I tell someone new that I'm pregnant. The only nutritional value that I cannot obtain from a vegan diet is vitamin B-12, which I compensate for in my daily multi-vitamin.

With all of that said, I have never been so aware of everything that I eat as I have been since the moment I found out I was pregnant. The first few weeks I did exceptionally well, eating fresh fruits and veggies every day in between meals. The further I've gone into my pregnancy with the nausea and the discomforts kicking in though, the more I worry about if I'm eating well enough.

Since this pregnancy was a surprise (a good surprise of course) I didn't get to prepare my body for pregnancy. Unfortunately, I am overweight to begin with and I've never been a super active person. I make it a point to walk as much as I can now to ensure that I am not sitting on my butt all day, but I feel that isn't enough. At the same time, I am scared to try jogging or other forms of cardio (which I've done before), since I'm still in my first trimester.

All of this is just stress building up which goes against my trying to stay positive throughout this exceptional journey I'm on. I am somewhat of a perfectionist when I want to be and this is definitely one of those times where I want everything to be perfect. I don't want to do anything that may cause my little peanut to be hurt in any way.

In the mean time, all I can do is try my best. Eat fruits & veggies, take my vitamins daily and walk around the block for 20 minutes. If I can do more than that I will but I shouldn't focus on it too much because it's emotionally draining!

My next prenatal appointment is in exactly 2 weeks and my next sonogram in 3 weeks and 2 days. I will occupy the time til then reading my new book and researching more earth friendly baby products. :)

Baby Name Game

It has begun! Hubby and I have officially started throwing out name possibilities. I won't be listing them here because I am not quite ready for other people's opinions. And boy does everyone seem to have an opinion about absolutely everything, it's exhausting!

I will however say that I seem to be throwing out more girl names and Mike has been throwing out more boy names. While we both want a healthy and happy baby it's difficult to shy away from the fact that we do have slight gender preferences.

As far as strategizing for a name, my biggest concern right now is what last name we will give the baby. We're not married, nor do we plan to be. This is not because we don't want to spend the rest of our lives together, we just disagree with the legalities of marriage. At the very most we would have some kind of celebration of our love or something equally cheesy. But that's a topic for another time perhaps. The point is, we obviously have different last names.

What to do when baby arrives? I would really like for us to all share a last name and I don't believe in hyphenating or "merging" them together. That is just lengthy and annoying. (My personal opinion-really hope no one takes this personal as I am not judging anyone). I have zero attachment to my last name, mostly because my father and his side of the family are all jerks. I don't believe Mike has any attachment to his last name either. But we can't just give Peanut a third random last name. Which brings us back to square one.

This all bothers me because the three of us will be a family. I keep fighting against my gut feeling that having the same name would make us more of a family than if we had different last names, somehow tying us closer together, but I know that's not true. Case in point, my mom & dad. Having the same last name did not stop us from being a broken family.

Really the more I write on this subject the more I realize I kind of just needed to vent a little bit. At the end of the day what matters the most to both of us is that we are together, healthy and happy, loving and supporting one another. We'll figure out the logistics of it eventually. We have 7 months to do so!

Choosing Peanut's first name will definitely be fun though. It has been so far. Hubby & I had such different opinions about what kind of name our child should have. The gap has been closing in more and more as we continue to explore new names. I wonder how soon we'll be able to agree on one once we know the gender!

Our first prenatal visit 2/8/11

Our first prenatal visit was on my auntie's birthday. Hubby went with me and helped me pack snacks. I was warned that the first visit is the longest and that I would be seeing several doctors, taking up to three hours. I took a bottle of water, grapes, cashews, cranberries, a banana and had a nice breakfast of oatmeal with toast before leaving the apartment.

Since my appointment was the first of the day I didn't have to wait long between doctors. I took my "peanut journal" where I had listed all the questions I had along with the multi-vitamin capsules I was already taking to make sure that would continue to be enough. The obstetrician that met with me that day was Dr. Love. Her name could not have been more perfect. :)

They did lab work, I met with a counselor and the office manager to help me apply for financial assistance as well as a nutritionist to talk about my eating habits. The visit with the nutritionist was nothing like I expected. I was concerned that they'd freak out about me being vegan and tell me I'd have to change my new lifestyle (which I am not about to do). But she was great! She's a vegetarian which is why talking to her was so easy. I was able to speak freely and got all my questions answered.

Hubby was by my side the entire time and even participated with the question asking. Sadly the clinic doesn't have the equipment for sonograms, which is what we were looking forward to the most. I was told I'd get my referral appointment in the mail in a few days. Luckily it didn't take that long for me to receive it and I know now that my first ultrasound will be on the 23rd. I'll get a more "accurate" estimated due date but for now Dr. Love told me the baby is due September 26!

I still shared the poem with Hubby after having filled in the due date month despite the fact that we didn't get to see peanut. The days that followed have been filled with me researching midwives, birthing centers, scheduling tours and consultations and following up on the paperwork they submitted for me at the clinic.

My next doctor's appointment is on the 22nd to get my lab results, followed by our first sonogram on the 23rd. I signed up for a free weekly prenatal yoga class that I hope to start on the 21st, so next week will be a busy one! I'm looking forward to it all. :)

To Daddy, from Baby 2/7/11

Dear Peanut,
  
     In a few hours, daddy-to-be will be holding my hand & watching you grow inside me. I know you're excited to meet him so I've dedicated this poem from you to him to share tomorrow.

                                                                                                           Love, Mommy

Dear Daddy,

I do not have a face to see
Or put inside a frame.
I do not have soft cheeks to kiss.
I don't yet have a name.

Not yet can you hold my tiny hands
Nor whisper in my ear.
It's still too soon to sing a song
Or cuddle me so near.

But all that'll change come September
When they say I'm due.
I am your first born child
And I can't wait to meet you!

All I ask between now and then
Is your love for me to grow.
I promise I'll be worth the wait
Because of all the love we'll know!

So as you're waiting patiently
Please dream sweet dreams of me.
I cannot wait to be a part
Of this great family!

                                                                                                  I love you daddy,
                                                                                                     Baby                      




*When I chose this poem I was under the impression that my first prenatal visit would include a sonogram, but that actually won't happen until February 23rd. I also had the month blanked out until I was told our due date and filled it in as soon as I was told. Baby's name is also blanked out until we know if it's a boy peanut or girl peanut and decide on a name!

My second journal entry 2/7/11

"It's 2:30am & I'm so tired! Same group from last night came over & I've been cooking, baking & cleaning for 12 hrs (with Hubby's help of course). My cooking & cupcakes were a hit & so was my hot chocolate. I love getting compliments on things I make. =)

But really today's major event was not Greenbay winning the Superbowl, it was that I finally gave away over 80% of my "skinny Yami" clothes. Now that I know I'm pregnant I'm the most comfortable I've ever been in my own skin. Wish I could describe how amazing it feels to be growing a little peanut inside me! Daddy-to-be still has not let me make the announcement but it'll be that much more special when he's on board.

Two very important things I forgot to mention about Saturday (02/05): One - daddy-to-be likes the name Jeffrey for a boy. Just the fact that we had a brief conversation about names solidifies that he does know there's a peanut inside me. =) Two - when we went out to eat at Vegetarian Paradise I was extremely aware of the fact that I needed to order something nutritious. I chose the lemon soy chicken with steamed broccoli vs. the soy bbq ribs & fries. Hope peanut enjoyed his trees! Also, 02/05 was out 150th day of being vegan. =)

Okay, time for this mommy-to-be to get some sleep. 30 more hours until my 1st prenatal appointment. How exciting!"

My first journal entry 2/5/11

The days following the big news, I started to keep a journal filled with questions for the doctor, a page to list important dates and a place for me to write my feelings and letters to the baby. Here's what I wrote on February 5th:

"Today was such a difficult day! Spent time with Mike's brother, girlfriend & baby & later went to a friend's house for their birthday and I was not allowed to tell anyone about peanut! =( I guess daddy-to-be isn't ready to go public, but I did confide in Renesmee! It was still a great day spent among family & friends. Tomorrow they will come over to my house for Superbowl Sunday! I wonder if Hubby will have changed his mind by then or if he'll have to lock me up in the room to keep me quiet! =)

(I love you my little peanut & I know daddy does too. Counting down the hours to my first prenatal visit - I'm so eager to meet you!)  Love, Mommy"