Midwife Visit & Baby's Heart Beat

I officially have a midwife! I never did interview any others, or even make more phone calls like I originally set out to do. Honestly, after meeting Kimm I just knew in my gut that this was the woman that would help bring my child into this world in the comfort of my home.

Michael and I went to see her today so that they could meet each other and to ensure that the three of us were on the same page. It was a quick meeting at the end of which we all agreed that we'd work around my pending insurance application and start prenatal visits with her as soon as possible.

My next (and last) prenatal visit at the free clinic is on Tuesday the 12th where I'll ask them to release my medical records to my midwife and finally be done with that place. I already caught a glimpse into the comfort of my visits with Kimm, since her home is her office. She sits on these cool pillows on the floor and I loved the fact that she checked for peanut's heart beat on her own couch.

Today was the third time I got to enjoy hearing peanut's heart beat but it was the first time that I got to record it. Strong and healthy and 145bpm I got overly emotional (as I usually do) and couldn't stop mumbling the words "There really is a baby in my belly!"

Needless to say, today was an amazingly spectacularly magical day. :) I couldn't be more pleased with how everything is turning out and hope that things will continue along the path of the peaceful home birth that I have envisioned.

Here is a sound clip of Baby's Heart Beat 4.8.11 :)

Baby Name Game

It has begun! Hubby and I have officially started throwing out name possibilities. I won't be listing them here because I am not quite ready for other people's opinions. And boy does everyone seem to have an opinion about absolutely everything, it's exhausting!

I will however say that I seem to be throwing out more girl names and Mike has been throwing out more boy names. While we both want a healthy and happy baby it's difficult to shy away from the fact that we do have slight gender preferences.

As far as strategizing for a name, my biggest concern right now is what last name we will give the baby. We're not married, nor do we plan to be. This is not because we don't want to spend the rest of our lives together, we just disagree with the legalities of marriage. At the very most we would have some kind of celebration of our love or something equally cheesy. But that's a topic for another time perhaps. The point is, we obviously have different last names.

What to do when baby arrives? I would really like for us to all share a last name and I don't believe in hyphenating or "merging" them together. That is just lengthy and annoying. (My personal opinion-really hope no one takes this personal as I am not judging anyone). I have zero attachment to my last name, mostly because my father and his side of the family are all jerks. I don't believe Mike has any attachment to his last name either. But we can't just give Peanut a third random last name. Which brings us back to square one.

This all bothers me because the three of us will be a family. I keep fighting against my gut feeling that having the same name would make us more of a family than if we had different last names, somehow tying us closer together, but I know that's not true. Case in point, my mom & dad. Having the same last name did not stop us from being a broken family.

Really the more I write on this subject the more I realize I kind of just needed to vent a little bit. At the end of the day what matters the most to both of us is that we are together, healthy and happy, loving and supporting one another. We'll figure out the logistics of it eventually. We have 7 months to do so!

Choosing Peanut's first name will definitely be fun though. It has been so far. Hubby & I had such different opinions about what kind of name our child should have. The gap has been closing in more and more as we continue to explore new names. I wonder how soon we'll be able to agree on one once we know the gender!

First Sonogram 2/23

Yesterday was by far the most exciting day of our pregnancy. We learned that I am actually only 7 weeks pregnant making the new EDD October 12th. There are no words to express how I felt when I heard peanut's heart beat. I wish I had asked the nurse to hear it for a little longer, it all just happened so fast!

We waited almost an hour to be seen; long enough for Hubby to even take a little nap. I had the need to tinkle but didn't say anything because I had read that a full bladder helps with the contrast when you're doing an early sonogram. Luckily I did not have an accident while the nurse examined me! The gel was cold which I knew to expect thanks to seeing it on movies, but the nurse didn't warn me so it did catch me slightly off guard.

The whole sonogram was done in under 5 minutes. I saw the nurse as she measured peanut and tried to get a good picture for us to take home. She asked me to hold my breath which is when I heard the heart beat at 146bpm. It was difficult to hold my breath once I heard peanut's heart beat because I was fighting back the tears. I hope to learn to add pictures to this blog so that I can share that with you all. :)

I keep staring at the picture and am still in a little bit of shock that we are pregnant. My next sonogram is in 5 weeks. I hope to have more to share before then. ^_^

There's our little peanut <3

                                                      

Valentine's Day 2011

When and how we would announce our pregnancy to Hubby's family & friends was the popular topic in the days that followed our first prenatal visit. He really wanted to create a baby-themed level on Little Big Planet, somehow incorporating clues leading up to the big news. I had several ideas given that I'd had ample time to brainstorm and get inspiration from stories online. We couldn't fully agree on any ideas as I felt creating the game level would take too long & I wasn't sure how much more I could hold out on sharing the news. He didn't agree on my ideas only because he was fully sold on his.

In the mean time, on February 11th I went to Motherhood and purchased my first maternity outfit with the intention to wear it for Valentine's Day. I had entered a contest in January for tickets to a screening of All Star Superman where some of the cast and crew would attend for a panel after the movie. When I received confirmation for the tickets (yay!) the screening happened to be scheduled for Valentine's Day, which meant there was no need to plan anything. It occurred to me though, that it would be great to go to dinner after the movie with his brother to tell him the news. Being that it was going to be Valentine's Day & we'd be going to dinner, I started coming up with clues to hide in a fake "specials" menu and have the hostess slip them in before seating us.

Hubby preferred the idea of saying grace before our meal and including that we were thankful for our baby on the way. I thought it was perfect because it was simple yet meaningful and we'd get to do it early enough in the dinner that I wouldn't be temped to blurt it out.

After the movie (which was a fun experience) we met his brother, girlfriend & baby Renesmee along with our friends Jasmine & Allan at one of our favorite vegetarian restaurants in Soho. While we were eating our appetizers I kept nudging at Hubby wondering when he'd volunteer to say grace. I was starting to get a little antsy and was starting to wonder if anyone had noticed I was wearing maternity clothes, or running to the bathroom after every sip of water I drank.

We all love Renesmee and we were taking turns holding her. Allan was sitting across from me and was the one holding her at the moment. I was making baby talk and said "soon it'll be my turn". In all honestly, I simply meant it'd be my turn to hold her next, but Louis (Mike's brother) started asking me if I wanted a boy or a girl and at what age I'd want to have a baby. I glanced over at Hubby & asked as subtly as I could if I could please just tell them. He didn't seem to mind.

Without answering any of his questions I just blurted out "I'M PREGNANT!". I had to say it three times!!! Everyone was completely surprised. Jessica & Jasmine hugged me & congratulated me. I think at that point all Louis was saying was "wow". =)

It was amazing to finally share the news with his family & friends & it was my first time saying it in person. I wish I could have seen my family's reaction when I told them. I guess I'll have to plan better & learn to hold my tongue when I find out the gender so that I don't blurt that out as well!

As of right now, Hubby wants a boy and is willing it to be so. My mom swears it's a girl. My grandmother thought it was a girl, then she had a dream the night after my prenatal visit where I was knitting a blue sweater so now she thinks it's a boy. My aunt also thinks it's a boy but more because she wants it to be a boy. It's no lie that I have always said I'd want a girl first but right now I just want peanut to be healthy. A boy or a girl, either way this baby will be a blessing!

A Happy Valentine's Day indeed. =)

5 week belly (more belly than baby!) 2/14/11

                              

Our first prenatal visit 2/8/11

Our first prenatal visit was on my auntie's birthday. Hubby went with me and helped me pack snacks. I was warned that the first visit is the longest and that I would be seeing several doctors, taking up to three hours. I took a bottle of water, grapes, cashews, cranberries, a banana and had a nice breakfast of oatmeal with toast before leaving the apartment.

Since my appointment was the first of the day I didn't have to wait long between doctors. I took my "peanut journal" where I had listed all the questions I had along with the multi-vitamin capsules I was already taking to make sure that would continue to be enough. The obstetrician that met with me that day was Dr. Love. Her name could not have been more perfect. :)

They did lab work, I met with a counselor and the office manager to help me apply for financial assistance as well as a nutritionist to talk about my eating habits. The visit with the nutritionist was nothing like I expected. I was concerned that they'd freak out about me being vegan and tell me I'd have to change my new lifestyle (which I am not about to do). But she was great! She's a vegetarian which is why talking to her was so easy. I was able to speak freely and got all my questions answered.

Hubby was by my side the entire time and even participated with the question asking. Sadly the clinic doesn't have the equipment for sonograms, which is what we were looking forward to the most. I was told I'd get my referral appointment in the mail in a few days. Luckily it didn't take that long for me to receive it and I know now that my first ultrasound will be on the 23rd. I'll get a more "accurate" estimated due date but for now Dr. Love told me the baby is due September 26!

I still shared the poem with Hubby after having filled in the due date month despite the fact that we didn't get to see peanut. The days that followed have been filled with me researching midwives, birthing centers, scheduling tours and consultations and following up on the paperwork they submitted for me at the clinic.

My next doctor's appointment is on the 22nd to get my lab results, followed by our first sonogram on the 23rd. I signed up for a free weekly prenatal yoga class that I hope to start on the 21st, so next week will be a busy one! I'm looking forward to it all. :)

To Daddy, from Baby 2/7/11

Dear Peanut,
  
     In a few hours, daddy-to-be will be holding my hand & watching you grow inside me. I know you're excited to meet him so I've dedicated this poem from you to him to share tomorrow.

                                                                                                           Love, Mommy

Dear Daddy,

I do not have a face to see
Or put inside a frame.
I do not have soft cheeks to kiss.
I don't yet have a name.

Not yet can you hold my tiny hands
Nor whisper in my ear.
It's still too soon to sing a song
Or cuddle me so near.

But all that'll change come September
When they say I'm due.
I am your first born child
And I can't wait to meet you!

All I ask between now and then
Is your love for me to grow.
I promise I'll be worth the wait
Because of all the love we'll know!

So as you're waiting patiently
Please dream sweet dreams of me.
I cannot wait to be a part
Of this great family!

                                                                                                  I love you daddy,
                                                                                                     Baby                      




*When I chose this poem I was under the impression that my first prenatal visit would include a sonogram, but that actually won't happen until February 23rd. I also had the month blanked out until I was told our due date and filled it in as soon as I was told. Baby's name is also blanked out until we know if it's a boy peanut or girl peanut and decide on a name!

My first journal entry 2/5/11

The days following the big news, I started to keep a journal filled with questions for the doctor, a page to list important dates and a place for me to write my feelings and letters to the baby. Here's what I wrote on February 5th:

"Today was such a difficult day! Spent time with Mike's brother, girlfriend & baby & later went to a friend's house for their birthday and I was not allowed to tell anyone about peanut! =( I guess daddy-to-be isn't ready to go public, but I did confide in Renesmee! It was still a great day spent among family & friends. Tomorrow they will come over to my house for Superbowl Sunday! I wonder if Hubby will have changed his mind by then or if he'll have to lock me up in the room to keep me quiet! =)

(I love you my little peanut & I know daddy does too. Counting down the hours to my first prenatal visit - I'm so eager to meet you!)  Love, Mommy"