Monday, April 2, 2012

The first 24 hours

After my son was born, my husband was allowed to hold him for a brief minute after he had been cleaned and swaddled. I was still not allowed to touch him (not that I could if I wanted to since my arms were tied down to the OR table) but Mike did the best he could in bringing him close to my face. My heart ached having him so close but not being able to hold him.

Holding his son for the first time

Our first family picture


Before I had a chance to memorize his face, my son was taken to the nursery while I was being closed up. Mike was told to get out of the scrubs and meet me in the recovery room. The recovery room is just as cold and uninviting (and crowded) as an ER waiting room. I was told that I would be there for no more than 2 hours as they had to make sure I had no adverse effects from surgery and they needed time to get a room ready for me. I would not be able to see my son until I was transferred to said room.

Those 2 hours I was in and out of sleep, munching on a lot of ice chips and crying for my mom because I was in so much pain. It didn't help that the nurses kept coming to check on me. They kept poking my legs to see if I could feel them again. The really fun part though was them checking my uterus. Labor was nothing in comparison to what I was feeling now. I kept looking at the huge clock directly in front of my bed (how convenient). Almost two hours had passed by, soon I would see my son.

Except I wouldn't. Not before more social workers came to ask us questions. Questions about our planned home birth, our choice to not vaccinate, our resistance to interventions. Looking back now, I am honestly amazed that I didn't make a scene. I guess it was a combination of the drugs I was under and the pure exhaustion of the days I had just experienced. It took them SIX HOURS to transfer me to a room and that was only after I agreed to home visits from a nurse the days following my hospital release. 

Time slowed to a crawl once I had been taken to my room, which I wound up sharing with two different women. (More on my roommates another time). I'm not sure how long it took them to finally bring me my son after that, but once they did, I couldn't take him any faster from the nurse's arms. I lowered my hospital gown and immediately put him on my breast for his first meal. I hadn't given much thought to what breast feeding would feel like, but as soon as he latched on everything just made sense.

First meal

Trying to latch on


I soaked in every second of my baby, my beautiful baby boy who did not deserve to enter the world in the violent way that he had. The following hours are a blur. My mom's flight was delayed but she eventually made her way to see us that same night. She was already overwhelmed but when she saw her grandchild for the first time she kept saying over and over in Spanish that he looked just like me when I was a baby, but with a set of balls. It was the first time I laughed out loud since I had gone into labor. It hurt, but it was a wonderful moment with my mom. 

With my mom


I spent a lot of time telling the nurses not to take my son to the nursery. I reminded them numerous times that I was going to feed him on demand and not every 2 hours as they kept insisting. It upset them that I'd feed him more frequently. It upset them that I wouldn't give him a pacifier. It upset them that I had my gown down to my waist so that I could do skin to skin with him as much as possible.I received another visit from social services that night.

Breast feeding began to feel painful and every little movement hurt like nothing else I had ever felt before. Holding him was difficult with the IV in my arm and I couldn't figure out the best way to hold him. I couldn't get up to change his diaper so everyone else had to help (my husband, my mom, nurses). But when it was just us two together, I would get lost in every inch of him. I was so blessed and so in love. We managed to sleep a few hours that night.

Wearing his lil monkey hat from Hot Mama Gowns




With his auntie

Daddy showing Teth the view - Central Park

Milk drunk :)



Love

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Teth Adam's Birth Story

Fifty days ago today I had the most horrible, traumatizing experience of my life. It was also the day my beautiful baby boy was born. It has taken me this long to even attempt writing his birth story because with each word that I type, it makes each moment real. These things really happened. Ten months of doing everything right and my labor resulted in a Cesarean section. I honestly still can't believe it.

You'll have to forgive me as I write this. I will probably ramble and go out of order, lose my train of thought and just not make sense. I've wanted to type this up for so long now that at this point I don't want to think too hard about what I'm saying. I'm just going to let it pour out of me. I understand if you don't finish this, I imagine it's going to be very long. I was in labor for 3 days after all. I originally wanted to include pictures but I just don't have the strength right now to type this and make it pretty. Maybe I can add them in another day. (**Pictures added 4 months later**)

Day 1: October 11, 2011

This was my baby's due date. I was 40 weeks pregnant and more than ready to finally hold my son in my arms. After weeks of sleepless nights, strong Braxton Hicks and what I think was prodromal labor, in my mind it was time. I was having contractions but I honestly didn't know how to time them. I didn't know when one began or ended, but they were definitely happening. They began around 4am and I fantasized about having a punctual baby. I was ready to be done being pregnant. But today would not be the day.

With Hubby before going for a walk


Day 2: October 12, 2011

If I had any doubt the day before about whether these contractions were real, today there was no question in my mind that I was in labor. Contractions were getting stronger and closer together, even though I still had no idea how to time them. My twitter mamas were all full of amazing advice and once again I thought "this is finally happening!" My husband took me for a long walk to help move things along. A woman in the street pushing her one year old son in a stroller stopped to chat with us when she noticed my gigantic belly bump. She shared with us her experience which at the time sounded like a horror story. How she rushed to the hospital at the first sign of pain and asked for meds immediately. How hours later they broke her water and were cutting her open to deliver her son. I remember feeling a bit arrogant thinking I was better than that. I was going to deliver my baby naturally. And at home. Without a midwife. She laughed before she offered up a piece of advice: "Go home and have sex now. You don't know when you'll get to go at it again." So we did. (And we haven't since). But this did not speed things along.

That night we prepped our bedroom. Dim lights, soft music, towels on the bed, layers of chux pads, peri bottle ready, clamp on hand, a bowl for the placenta. We had it all set up. Tonight was the night. It had to be. I hadn't slept. Contractions were getting stronger. I was getting scared, though I wouldn't admit it at the time. I was uncomfortable making noise through the pain because I didn't want my father and sister-in-law to know I was in labor. I didn't want to be bothered. As a matter of fact, only my husband knew. Or so I thought. Not long after setting up the room his brother showed up. With his wife. And their two kids, 18 month old girl and 9 year old boy. I wanted to strangle my husband. This was supposed to be a private thing. Not a party. I would spend the rest of the time in my room. No more freedom to walk around the apartment because everyone was in the living room, ordering pizza, watching movies, having a blast. Meanwhile I was having the worst pains yet. This is when I began my thousand hot showers.

In the tub on my birthing ball

DH pouring warm water on my belly

After shower swaying

Trying out the rocking chair


I had tried everything for pain management. I bounced on my birthing ball, I hummed and swayed, I meditated, nothing helped like a hot shower. I would get in for a few minutes, feel relief, come out, another contraction would hit and I would run back in. I did this all night well into the morning. I wasn't allowing anyone into the bedroom because I wanted to stay naked, clothes bothered me. As a matter of fact I didn't want to be touched, at all. A very good twitter mama friend had been sending me links and telling me how my husband could check how dilated I was but every time we'd try I never let him touch me. I was nervous, scared, wondering when transition would come and then the urge to push so that I could meet my baby.

On my "birthing ball" - I was not in the mood for this picture


I finally fell asleep for what must have been 20-30 minutes. I woke up to my older sister-in-law practically spooning me, giving me a back massage, with a camera in her hand. Apparently she had been taking pictures of me. The back rubs felt so good that I didn't care at the moment that she was seeing me naked. I asked about my husband. He was in the living room. Playing video games. I could have killed him but I was in too much pain. The contractions were hitting really hard now. I could barely walk. More showers and back rubs. That is all that helped and even that wasn't making much of a difference anymore.

Hubby sneaking in a nap while SIL comforted me


My sister-in-law had given birth naturally, no interventions, with a midwife at a hospital. She at least had some personal experience in this but when she'd give me some insight or an opinion it always felt like a demand. She'd get upset if I didn't do it. She wanted me to stop taking showers. How was I supposed to know if my water broke if I was in water the whole time? But it was the only thing that kept me from crying hysterically from the pain.

Day 3: October 13, 2011

Finally around 4am I lost my mucus plug. In the shower. But I noticed it, so ha! Finally, something was happening. This gave me some mental relief. I continued meditating, praying, singing, begging for back rubs, more showers, hoping this would happen soon. I hadn't slept in so long, my entire body shook from the pain, I was drained. How would I have energy to push?

Meanwhile my husband and sister-in-law were taking shifts sleeping so that someone could always be with me. I really appreciated that. What I did not appreciate was the continuous noise and party like environment in my living room that never fully stopped. Eventually I stopped caring because if I didn't moan, grunt and yell through the contractions I felt I was going to explode. Periodically I would get on my hands and knees on the bed and rock my hips. I did this around 7am and my water broke. PROGRESS!! I felt a pop and all this liquid just rushed out of me. Good thing we had laid down all those towels and chux pads!

DH giving me a back rub

More swaying

I think I was asleep - maybe ten minutes


I thought for sure my baby was at the most just a few hours away now. I was upset that he'd be born on the 13th but at this point I'd take it! (Silly, I know, but I didn't want his 1st birthday to be on a Friday the 13th-careful what you wish for). Time kept passing by and still nothing. Looking back now, this is where I hit the wall that everyone talks about during labor.

I cried. I cried so much. I begged my husband to call the midwife we had fired months earlier. "Call her, call someone, call ANYONE, get this baby OUT." I was definitely at my limit, if not way past it. He laughed and recognized it as being transition but I was so upset and in so much pain, all that registered was him not picking up the phone.

"I'm going to the hospital. If you don't call someone to help me get YOUR son out of my vagina I am going to the hospital." I threatened him. I knew he didn't want to deal with hospital staff, I was so sure my threat would work. It didn't. He tried reassuring me that I could do this, I was almost there. But he was clearly tired too so it didn't come off very convincing. I pushed through it. I wanted to have my baby at home. The more time passed by, the more I knew that wasn't going to happen.

Six hours had passed since my water broke. "CALL AN AMBULANCE NOW." Everyone received this as me giving up. No one wanted to call for me and I could barely talk so I couldn't do it. My husband got upset and said he was going to take a shower. He wanted to be clean when his son was born. At home. We were NOT going to the hospital. I begged my sister-in-law to call for me, I begged her husband. I started getting bullshit excuses of their cell phones being low on battery and why not just ride it out a bit longer. I had made it this far after all.

And just how far along was I? I had no idea how dilated I was, still clueless in timing contractions. Then I started worrying because I didn't know what position my son was in and I started thinking of the million other things that could go wrong. I grabbed my phone and dialed 911 as I mindlessly started packing a bag. I yelled to everyone in the apartment "I AM GOING TO THE HOSPITAL. You can all stay home if you want but this is no longer happening at home." I wasn't upset by my choice, I was relieved to have the 911 operator on the other end telling me an ambulance was on their way.

This is when everyone stopped talking to me. My sister-in-law, all she could say was "Please don't have an epidural." My husband just kept shaking his head at me. But no one knew. No one knew what it felt like to be in my body. Ten months of eating right, prenatal yoga, walking, hypnobirthing, workshops and classes, reading books, talking to other home birth mamas, no one wanted this more than me. But no one was feeling the physical pain and anguish, I was in hell. And mentally I had broken down. I was beyond scared. My baby would be born in a hospital. But I would not accept interventions. I would still push him out. All I wanted was for them to understand and support me.

The ambulance ride. Apart from the bumpy ride making my contractions feel that much worse, I had my husband and my sister-in-law both arguing with the paramedics. I don't remember over what. I do recall asking them all to shut up and inject me with something to stop the pain. As soon as I said it though, it was like I didn't recognize my own voice, but at the same time it felt right. Yes. Pain meds. This is what I needed. Just a little something to help me sleep and I'd be able to do the rest on my own. But they can't give you anything for pain in the ambulance. Longest. Ride. Ever. I should also mention moving my 200 pound pregnant body into and out of a hospital bed during these god awful contractions-I thought it couldn't get any worse. (Don't worry, it does).

We get to the hospital and now we're waiting for a room. I had my husband deal with all the paperwork and the bazillion people asking me if I was crazy for trying to home birth. Why had I stopped prenatal visits, why didn't I have a midwife, why was I refusing antibiotics for GBS, why didn't I want to vaccinate my baby, why hadn't I tested for gestational diabetes. The list went on and on.

Not long after all the paperwork and interrogation (that was done in a hallway, mind you) we were taken to a room where I was hooked up to an IV and a fetal monitor on my belly. That was the first time I felt relief. Hearing my baby's heart beat. I knew he was ok in there still and that was reassuring. My husband kept asking me if I was ready to go back home yet. This upset the nurses as they urged that we stay, but it's not like I was going anywhere. I had made my choice and I was still fine with it.

They brought in a midwife per our request and I had my first internal examination. I was excited to see how close I was to having my baby. Was I 8cm, 9cm? Was it almost time to push him out? I was uncomfortable as she went in to check. She looks up at me and says I am 4cm dilated. FOUR?? FOUR FUCKING CENTIMETERS? THAT WAS IT??? All these hours of pain and lack of sleep and I wasn't even halfway there??

I suppose this is where things started to snowball because my immediate reaction was "What are my options for pain relief?" They offered me an epidural or a pain medication (I don't remember the name) that they'd administer into my IV. The pain med would only take the edge off for a few hours, I would still feel the contractions. I honestly believed that as long as I wasn't taking an epidural that I had earned a little bit of pain relief. Within minutes I was asleep.

I woke up maybe 3-4 hours later to the pain of the strongest contraction yet. My husband started bringing me ice chips because I was starving and thirsty. Not long after his brother and wife showed up with their lawyer to help us draw up forms. Apparently while I was asleep things got heated up about us refusing the vitamin K vaccine for our unborn son. This is not what I wanted to wake up to. I was in a private room with a shower so I asked the midwife if I was able to use it. It was then that she encouraged me to get out of bed and move through my contractions. I was thrilled. I took two showers back to back and started feeling better. Those few hours of sleep had definitely helped. I remember leaning on a wall while my husband was giving me a back massage when the social workers came in. They were not nice, the way they were talking to me, implying I was already an unfit mother. I yelled at them. I asked them to leave. Couldn't they see I was in pain? Couldn't they see I was in labor, trying to have a baby? Couldn't they come back later?? They stayed rambling on about who knows what. My husband was forced to deal with them since I was incapable of doing so at the time which means the back rubs stopped. I was NOT happy.

Apple juice never tasted so good


It was around this time that it stopped being just a midwife coming to see me, but also an OB. The midwife was very supportive of all my decisions so far and even applauded my efforts to home birth. Enter OB. She immediately suggested pitocin and an epidural without even checking me. I refused which only made her insist more often. She came to see me more than the midwife. But honestly not long after I found myself once again in too much pain. I just couldn't breathe through the contractions anymore. I asked what my options were for pain management and all that was left now was an epidural. I accepted.

I didn't look at my husband after that and before the anesthesiologist came in his brother and his wife left without saying a word to me. They didn't return until the day I was discharged.

Getting an epidural wasn't as scary as I thought it was going to be. I didn't see the needle. The hard part is staying still in the preferred position while still having these god-awful contractions. Twenty minutes later I was in heaven. I couldn't feel a thing. All the reading, research and documentary watching I had done warning me about hospitals, epidurals and unnecessary interventions were nowhere to be found in my head.

Day 4: October 14, 2011

I got to sleep. No "taking the edge off, just a few hours of sleep"-I got to SLEEP. I was woken up around 2am by the midwife. (My baby wouldn't be born on the 13th after all). She asked to check me. I was now 7cm dilated. YES! I had that same hopeful feeling I had when my water broke. PROGRESS!!! I was so happy, I started crying. She could feel he has heads down, another sigh of relief from me. I remember squeezing my husband's hand, ignoring the fact that he was still upset. I was SO happy. Soon I'd be pushing out my baby. Soon he'd be in my arms. Soon I'd be a mommy. Then I realized I couldn't feel my legs. The epidural. I asked the midwife how I'd be positioned because I didn't want to be on my back. She informed me that without being able to feel my legs, I wouldn't be able to do it any other way. I was crushed. And scared. For some reason it didn't register at the time that I'd already accepted quite a few things that I didn't plan for and didn't want. But I honestly still believed a vaginal birth was possible.

Enter OB.

The OB comes shortly after and asks to examine me. I had just been examined and didn't want to risk infection from being checked unnecessarily but that wasn't enough for her. Apparently the midwife had shared a concern with her, one she did not tell me about, and she needed to confirm. My son was posterior and this was worrisome because they were estimating him to be 8-9 pounds. I would definitely have tearing. I didn't recognize it then. The numerous scare tactics they used on me.

Once again the OB recommended pitocin, once again I refused. It was bad enough I had accepted the epidural I thought. Besides, I was 7cm dilated. Surely things would progress a lot quicker now. Maybe two hours later the midwife returned for another internal exam. I was 9cm dilated! But the epidural was wearing off. "That happens sometimes" she said. WHAT?? That was news to me, I wasn't ready to start feeling pain again, but there it was. And to make things even more fun, my son was trying to turn so he was now transverse. I was on the clock. I was told if I got the urge to push and he was still transverse I'd risk shoulder dystocia. I'm not sure I knew at the time what that meant, but it didn't sound good. What were my options?

The midwife called the OB and she apologetically excused herself. I don't know if she felt bad for me but she clearly wasn't able to tell me what would happen next. She stepped out of the room as soon as the OB came in. I didn't see the midwife again after that.

The OB once again urged me to accept the pitocin. Pitocin? Are you crazy? That's the drug that makes contractions stronger, right? The contractions that I am once again feeling because the epidural wore off? No thanks. I'll wait. My baby will come. I was sure of it. As a compromise I accepted she hook me up to this thing that would measure how strong my contractions were. It was supposed to tell me within ten minutes if my contractions were getting stronger. If they were, we could continue waiting. If not, I had accepted to at least consider pitocin.

Half an hour passed. There was something wrong with the machine. Of course there was something wrong with the damn machine. Ten minutes my ass. The contractions were hitting me fast and they were hitting me hard. Why wasn't I getting the urge to push?? I started crying. I couldn't do this anymore. I wanted another epidural. Was that even possible? I didn't even know if I could survive the twenty minutes it takes for the epidural to kick in.

This is when I called my mom. It must have been around 5am. She had no idea I'd been in labor. Well, she probably suspected it since we talk every day and I had been dodging her calls. But I called her, crying. I told her I was ok but that I was in the hospital and the baby was coming soon. I told her I needed her to fly in today, as soon as possible. My poor mom. That was not at all how I envisioned telling her I was in labor.




The OB kept coming in my room hourly if not more frequently. I was not progressing past 9cm, I wasn't getting the urge to push and my son was still transverse. I was to either take the pitocin or take the pitocin. I asked her what would happen if I took the pitocin and I still did not progress. At this moment I was concerned about the contractions, which were already once again killing me, getting stronger, draining whatever energy I had left to push. While the epidural had worn off, the numbness in my legs had not. She told me she'd know within the hour of taking the pitocin if it was working or not. If it wasn't working, I'd be taken in for an emergency c-section.

A c-section. The last thing in the world that I wanted. But I was between a rock and a hard place and the next decision I made was based on getting my child out safely. If I was to take the pitocin, another medical intervention, and put my body through more pain and anguish for it to ultimately end up in a c-section anyway, I may as well opt for a c-section now. That was my train of thought. I had lost hope on a vaginal birth. You can say I quit, that I gave up. But I did what I thought was best with the information that was given to me at the time.

Obviously my husband had stopped being any help to me I'd say from the moment I picked up the phone and called an ambulance so I was the one calling the shots. The OB allowed me to have another hour to see if things changed. They didn't. I was then taken to the OR.

I had never had surgery before. The only ORs I'd seen were on Grey's Anatomy. It is bright, cold, uninviting. Being transferred from one bed to the next was mortifying. I've never felt pain that bad before. They had a much tougher time finding the right spot for my second epidural. I yelled at the doctors that I couldn't do it, I couldn't sit still anymore. Seconds felt like hours so who knows how long it actually took them. The person holding me (not sure if he was a nurse, doctor, etc) I just felt his grip tighten on me and he looked me dead in the eyes "You CAN do this" he insisted, over and over again. It didn't help. I wanted this to be over.

After the epidural I had to move up on the bed "just a little bit." My body was unresponsive, still in pain, all my energy completely drained. I lost it. I started yelling and crying at the top of my lungs. "I can't do this, I can't move." I kept repeating it until the surgeon grabbed me and yelled back at me: "You CAN do this. You WILL do this and you will NOT scream or give up in MY OR.You are doing this for your son...now MOVE." That not only shut me up, it actually made me feel so much better. It was the slap in the face I needed, a reminder of where I was and what was going on. This wasn't just about me anymore. It would never be just about me anymore. Soon I would have my baby. I thanked him for that speech after surgery.

On the OR table


One of the nurses had warned me that one of the possible effects of surgery was uncontrollable shaking. Like clockwork, as soon as the epidural kicked in, my body started quivering. A few minutes later my husband came in dressed head to toe in scrubs. This made me smile. Probably the first time I smiled in days. He held my hand the whole surgery. The surgeon poked me with a needle until I couldn't feel it anymore. A curtain went up and I suddenly felt a lot of pushing and pulling on my belly. It was uncomfortable but I didn't feel any pain. One of the doctors asked my husband for our camera but he had left it in his bag which they made him put inside a locker. Thank goodness for camera phones. The doctor captured the first few seconds of my son's life as he was taken out of me.

Getting a hold of him

My baby boy's head poking out

I hate these bright lights :(

Umbilical cord being clamped =/



Finally being shown to us

My beautiful baby boy


His crying sounded like heaven to me. They showed us our son and I wanted so desperately to hold him and cry happy tears, but of course I couldn't. And I wouldn't get to. Not for another 6 hours. They cleaned him up, cut his umbilical cord and swaddled him. My husband got to hold him for about a minute and he placed him as close to my face as they'd allow (which wasn't very close at all since I was still shaking). Before I had time to memorize his face, he was taken away to the nursery while they finished closing me up.

This, unfortunately, is Teth Adam's birth story. The story of how he was ripped out of me in a cold, bright room instead of coming out on his own terms in our home. He was born at 9:06am. Eight pounds 6 ounces and 21 inches of pure perfection. I am so in love with my little man. It is truly a love like nothing I've ever experienced in my life, but this by no way means I need to be ok with how he was brought into this world. I am still grieving, still mourning. I feel like a disappointment to my husband, to myself, to all the mommas who just need that extra push of confidence to try a home birth but then read stories like mine and are discouraged, but most of all I know I've let down my son. I apologize to him every day for what I've done. It will be a very long time before I come even close to getting over all of this. I have over-analyzed everything that happened but I feel that does me no good for it won't change anything.

Perhaps another day, another entry, I can find the strength to write about the difficulty of our days in the hospital. But for now I simply thank you for reading this and I hope that my feelings are understood. I only want what is best for my son, always. I did the best I could under the circumstances. If there is a next time, I hope to do better.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Sappy Saturday

It's amazing to me how fast this pregnancy is progressing. Wasn't it just yesterday that I was setting up this blog & announcing to the world that I was pregnant?

Well it's already been 30 weeks and it feels like any day now I'll be pushing out this tiny, fragile human being from inside me. I'll be responsible for his well being in every sense and I honestly can't wait. It's exciting and nerve wrecking all at once, but I've always known I wanted to be a mommy so I welcome all of these emotions with open arms. :)

Teth Adam is definitely growing and getting stronger. Every day I feel him bounce, roll, punch, kick and bop around as if my belly were his own personal playground. I love being woken up by these movements and I cherish the rare moments that he allows his dad to feel them too.

I don't take any second of this experience for granted. I thank my lucky stars every day that I am having a healthy pregnancy and that I'll get to be a mommy very soon. My life is about to change in ways that I can't even imagine yet but I'm not scared. I don't think I've ever wanted anything more in my life. The fact that I get to share this with the man I love is just icing on the (vegan-friendly) cake. ;)

My hormones have been all over the place lately, which probably explains the sentimental post today. Recently not everything has been *ideal* at home but I close my eyes, put my hands on my growing belly and I am reminded the wonderful blessing that has been given to me...and right now that is all that matters.

Friday, July 29, 2011

For The One I Love

When my darling boyfriend asked me a few days ago to watch Trigun with him on Netflix before it's taken off of instant streaming, I agreed because I love him. For some reason I'm very hesitant to watch certain programs with him & he always gets the last laugh because I wind up getting hooked. I figure it had been a while since I agreed to watch something of his preference so I gave it a shot. I'm now 12 episodes in & I'm addicted. It's all I've watched this week & we still have 14 more episodes to go before it gets taken off of Netflix tomorrow, which means...Trigun marathon tonight!

Why am I blogging about this, you ask? It's very simple. At the end of every episode, the main character (who shall remain nameless since that in and of itself is a spoiler in case you decide to tune in) gives the following episode preview in a poetic format that I absolutely adore. Here is the preview for episode 10, which is by far my favorite:

"I think I'd like to do something nice for somebody. I think it's good if you smile at someone and they smile in return. Voluntary love encourages people to create a sense of friendliness. Love that is unconditional gives us respect as people. However, it's wrong to force love to try to keep it alive. If the strain goes on, it'll eventually bloom into the flower called Lie, the deceptively thorny flower that hurts people."
I encourage everyone to try something new for the one you love. You never know, you could be pleasantly surprised! I know I have been on several occasions. It's wonderful to have new things to share together. Glad to be adding this to the list! ^_^


Thursday, July 28, 2011

Thankful Thursday - 29 weeks pregnant

  • I get to feel my son kick, punch and roll around every day now
  • Daddy-to-be has felt his son & enjoys it so much he talks & sings to my belly to encourage it!
  • I'm working at a mommy friendly store surrounded by lovely ladies
  • My pregnancy is healthy (despite my feeling like a whale at times!) ^_^
  • I have an abundance of baby things where my only concern now is storage. 
  • My mom is going to respect my wishes and wait until after I give birth to come visit
  • I've made some real life mama-to-be friends who are just wonderfully supportive
  • I get to spend my free time preparing for baby's arrival & I wouldn't have it any other way :)