Thursday, March 31, 2011

"Don't Worry" Letter to Peanut

Dear Peanut,

Mommy is very sorry that she has been crying so much today. It's not your fault and I hope I have not made you sad or worried by my emotional state. Mommy really really really wanted to see you today and was very disappointed when I was told that I'll have to wait two more months.

Your great-grandfather passed away one year ago today which also has me on a bit of a roller coaster. He was a special character but I am sure he would have been thrilled to meet you and would have spoiled you rotten. I am always celebrating the joy of having you and remembering where I was a year ago today makes you so much more special. I love you so much my little peanut and my tears today are just a reflection of overwhelming love.

Daddy was very good at comforting me today even though I know he was also sad that he didn't get to see you. He wouldn't have woken up so early and held an umbrella over me on this cold, yucky rainy day to get to the sonogram place if he hadn't been as excited as me!

I hope you heard my comforting whispers and felt my caresses today and that I didn't scare you too much. We love you and I know we'll get to see your beautiful face soon.

I  Love You Peanut,
Mommy

Thankful Thursday

I just wanted to write a quick line about how thankful I am that my grandmother is still alive and strong a year after losing her husband and partner in life of 52 years.

I am of course also extremely thankful to be blessed with this new life that is growing inside me and all the love that I am surrounded by on a daily basis.

I hope everyone is having a beautiful Thursday.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Wordless Wednesday - Remembering my Grandfather

Playing hairdresser with my grandpa. I must have been 4 years old in this picture. That's my grandma in the back watching me try to put a roller in his hair. :) I love you grandpa and I miss you very much.
Ariel Gomez July 30, 1932 - March 31, 2010

Friday, March 18, 2011

MIdwife Meeting #1-possibly my last!

Today's meeting with my first prospective midwife went so much better than expected. I am still giddy and warm inside from how much I connected with this woman!

She became a midwife after having a negative experience birthing her daughter in the hospital and she has been advocating for women's rights ever since. She is vegan which is just the best news ever, I thought it'd be impossible for me to find a vegan midwife. In fact, that was my Hubby's only requirement! She only takes on a handful of clients at a time so that she is always available to them and she just relocated within walking distance of where I live. How perfect is that?!

She's willing to work with me while I wait for my insurance to go through which is great because I am extremely eager to make the switch. She seemed to really click with me too and at one point even said I had balls and that I would do great in my pregnancy. I am telling you, I love this woman!

I will still meet with at least 2 more midwives because that is what logic dictates and Hubby won't have it any other way. Plus I learned that she isn't a package deal so I'll also have to start searching for a doula and that might be an out of pocket cost for sure.

All in all it was a gorgeous spring day to spend walking around in Manhattan with dreams of the blissful, peaceful natural birth that I want at home. :)

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Midwife Interview Tomorrow!

I am so fed up with the runarounds that I'm getting at the clinic where I'm currently going for my prenatal visits. I still have not received word about Medicaid application and I feel like I'm in limbo. Unhappy with my current doctors (they change every time I go) and unable to start seeing a midwife without insurance (I'm looking at an out of pocket bill of anywhere from $5k to $12k).

I've decided to be proactive and in the meantime I am going to start "interviewing" midwives who do accept Medicaid to see if any are a good fit. Ideally Hubby would be participating in these little meet and greets but he feels we should wait to hear from Medicaid. However, I have been told it could take up to 90 days from when I applied to get an answer and that leaves me with another 62 days of waiting.

I have my first meeting tomorrow and I'm very excited. Below are the questions that I plan to ask, some of which I found here thanks to twitter friend @twopinklinez. I've organized them in the order that I feel I'll actually ask them.

If anyone has suggestions of what to add or things I should be looking for in a midwife I'd love to hear them. This will be my first midwife experience and I'm excited but a little nervous because I don't quite know what I'm doing!

I will of course blog tomorrow about how my first interview goes. Wish me luck! :)

QUESTIONS I'LL ASK MY MIDWIFE


Why did you become a midwife?

What does your fee include? Prenatal, birth, postnatal care? Postnatal for how long? Lab work, sonograms?

What kind of Medicaid do you accept? What is your fee if paying out of pocket? By when would it have to be paid in full?

Will I ever need to go anywhere besides your office for lab work, sonograms or other testing/consultations?

How many patients do you usually have at a time?

When would I start coming to you? How often will we meet? What can I expect at our visits?

How many births have you attended?

Have you ever lost a mother or a baby at a home birth?

Do you work with a doula or birthing assistants? How many? When will I get to meet them? What role do they typically play?

If you don't work with a doula or birthing assistants, how do you feel about me hiring one outside of your practice?

What are your normal guidelines for weight gain or do you just stress good nutrition?

What do you normally do while I am in labor? 

During labor, how active would you be in checking me and the baby? What do you use or how do you check us? 

How do you feel about me eating, drinking or showering while in labor?

How do you help manage pain?


What medications, if any, do you bring?

What supplies and equipment do you bring? What should I have ready at home? Birthing stool, birthing ball?

Do you perform water births? Will you provide the tub? Where can I rent or buy a tub?



Are you affiliated with a hospital and/or a medical consultant? What is your recommended hospital to transfer to?

How often have you had to transfer a mom to a hospital?

Under what circumstances do you transfer?

Do you stay with me after the transfer and offer support for my decisions the best you can? 

How familiar are you with procedures in the hospital? 

What conditions make me high risk ? How would you treat these conditions before they make me high risk? 

If I develop a condition that makes me high risk, do you have a doctor you normally use to transfer my care to? 

At what point would placenta previa make me high risk?

Do you also try to use this doctor for transfers during labor? 

What is your cut-off for considering a baby to be premature and requiring a hospital birth? 

What happens if I go past 42 weeks? 

How do you feel about episiotomy? Under what circumstances do you do them? 

How do you work to prevent tearing?

How long are you willing to let a client push, or do you base it solely on the baby's stress level? 

If my water breaks before labor starts,  how long will you wait before trying to start labor, or transfer to the hospital?

What would you consider to be urgent or an emergency? Do I call you first or go straight to a hospital? WIll you meet me there?

Have you ever performed a natural, vaginal breech birth? What is your method of turning the baby?

What happens if you are unavailable to meet me? Who will attend to me?

Are you ok with someone video-taping and/or taking pictures throughout the entire birth?

What do people do with the placenta and the "mess" after giving birth at home?

What procedures do you do after baby is born? Weighing, mucus suction, cutting the cord, fingerprints/footprints?

Can daddy-to-be "catch" the baby and/or also cut the umbilical cord?

How soon after giving birth do you re-visit?




No More Baby Shower Sadness

A few days ago I had a couple of tweets stating that I was stressing out trying to have a baby shower the week leading up to Mother's Day. A lot of my awesome mommy-to-be friends on twitter were telling me it was too soon and that I am not supposed to plan my own shower! (Follow me on twitter @VeganBabyBump)

I realize that I am only 10 weeks pregnant and that tradition calls for your shower to be a) thrown and paid for by someone else and b) thrown 6-8 weeks before your due date. However, I have a few things that I feel are getting in the way of what tradition calls for.

For starters, I live in New York City and all my family and closest friends live in Miami, Florida. My mom and grandmother are coming to visit me for Mother's Day and it occurred to me that maybe I could just have an early shower so that they could be a part of it. I can't afford to go home for the sake of just a shower to having it there. Although it would be great, it just isn't practical.

I went back and forth through a lot of "planning" which included a lot of tradition breaking, such as asking guests to chip in for costs. (I know that's a big no-no but I was getting desperate). I was getting frustrated, sad, anxious, I would cry, I even screamed into a pillow. I have always dreamt about how my baby shower would be and not having my mom there just doesn't fit in with what I want.

At the end of the day, Hubby held me and said the most comforting thing. I can't remember word for word, but the message was that I should just enjoy the week that my mom and grandma will be here and let the rest just fall into place. Not everyone knows yet that I'm pregnant so there is still a possibility that someone will throw me a shower.

But honestly, realizing now that the most important thing for me is to share my pregnancy with my mom & grandma, if I end up having a baby shower-great, if not-then that's ok too.

It took me longer than it should have to realize that what's important is already coming to me and I am so grateful that I have my boyfriend and my family that love and support me through this amazing journey.

In lieu of having this rushed, extremely early baby shower, I've opted to plan a nice family brunch at V-Note which is this amazing vegan restaurant that I'm sure my mom & grandma will enjoy.

Can't wait to celebrate Mother's Day with three generations, soon to be four!

Friday, March 11, 2011

Listening To My Inner Mom Voice

My mom and I have a wonderful relationship. We talk every single day, sometimes for hours if time permits. I share pretty much everything with her and she is the first one to know about 98% of what goes on in my life. We don't always agree on everything, but we are able to listen to each other's opinions and agree to disagree if in the end that is what it comes to.

That is not to say that our relationship is perfect. We do have heated conversations, especially now that I am pregnant. She doesn't fully understand why I do certain things, like why I'm still vegan now in my pregnancy, and I always do my best to explain it to her, but since it's not the "norm" she continues to not be 100% on board.

Right now there are a few things that I am really trying to get her to agree with me or at least leave me alone about:


  1. I won't stop being vegan in my pregnancy or after I give birth (or ever).
  2. Our baby will be raised a vegan until he/she is old enough to form his/her own opinion.
  3. I will breast feed exclusively for as long as I can.
  4. I will co-sleep with our baby and not use a traditional crib. (disregard "dream crib post!)
  5. Our baby will use cloth diapers. No ifs, ands or butts. ;)
  6. I will have a natural birth with as little medical intervention as possible. 
  7. We will use a sling with our baby.
I can probably think of more things but these seem to be the ones we touch on the most. Since my mom and I are so close, I do seek her approval a lot and I really need to stick to my guns now more than ever. I can't start compromising how I want Mike & I to raise our baby just because my mom has a different point of view. The most I can do is allow her to voice her opinion and then share mine and let her know I won't be changing my mind.

After talking for hours about the crib (which she even hated our "dream crib" because it was oval shaped), I finally got her to stop pushing the idea of a traditional crib on me. When I showed her a picture of the Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper that I like, she actually offered to be the one to buy it for me.

That's the great thing about my mom. At the end of the day, I know that everything she says, she says out of love. She means no harm because she really just doesn't know any better. I really can't wait to see her when she comes visit me with my Grams for Mother's Day. I haven't seem them in almost a year. My mom's love for me is unconditional and I know she will always support me no matter what I do. I just need to have a little more patience with her and more confidence in my decisions and we'll continue to be just fine!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Thankful Thursday 3/10

Before the day ends, since I don't have anything to specific in mind to write about, I'd like to list the top 10 things I am grateful for this very moment.



  • #10 - I'm thankful for frozen vegan foods. I try my best to not have processed food, especially now that I am preggers, but I really did not feel like cooking today and Morning Star Farms BBQ Riblets saved my life. 
  •  #9 - I'm thankful for my cell phone functioning properly again. For whatever reason I wasn't able to charge it and was losing my mind a little bit having lost communication from the world. All is ok now. 
  •  #8 - I'm thankful for my adorable cat who cuddles with me and my baby bump while Hubby is at work. 
  • #7 - I'm thankful for living in this wonderful city where everything is within walking distance, a short bus ride, a train stop or two or even a cheap cab ride away. 
  • #6 - I'm thankful for having such a great support system that includes Hubby, my entire family back home in Florida, great friends and other mommies-to-be that I meet online.
  •  #5 - I'm thankful for having different outlets for the different feelings that are running through me lately. Writing, singing, reading, even tweeting helps!
  •  #4 - I'm thankful for all of my pregnancy symptoms because it makes me feel more like a mom every time I experience a new one.
  • #3 - I'm thankful that my mom & grandma were able to buy their tickets to come visit me for Mother's Day. 
  • #2 - I'm thankful that I always have a phone call, email, text message, or instant message to answer from someone who cares about me. 
  • #1 - I'm thankful that I get to share every minute of my day with the love of my life and with our creation growing inside me.


I hope that this inspires at least one person to take a second and think about what they are grateful for in their life. It is very easy to wallow in the bad but we should always remember the good. The good in life, the good in others, the good in ourselves.

Thank you to all who read this. :)

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Cloth Diapers and Strollers

Now that Hubby & I have finally chosen a crib, we need to start agreeing on other important things for our registry. I hope to begin our official registry after our 12 week sonogram at the end of this month and continuously add things until we know the gender and can finalize the list.

Since we are both so involved in this process and want everything to be as earth friendly as possible, a lot of time goes into researching every single item. To make it somewhat easier, we've decided to tackle on 1 or 2 items a week until we agree on which one we feel is right for our baby.

This week the attention is on cloth diapers and strollers. Since before we knew I was pregnant, we always said that if we had a baby we would use cloth diapers. This conversation came up after watching No Impact Man and neither one of us really gave it much thought after that. Until now of course. I began looking into cloth diapers yesterday, trying not to limit myself to the major baby store chains.

There are so many options! I feel a little overwhelmed because I am not used to the lingo just yet. Hubby is a little hands off with this one. As long as it's an organic material and the inserts (if any) are cloth material as opposed to the disposable ones, he's on board. Right now the ones I seem to understand the most are pocket diapers and am leaning towards G Diapers because they have both cloth inserts and biodegradable disposable refills. Right now I feel that the disposable refills may come in handy for specific situations such as going to the park or for when baby is older and grandma wants to babysit a few hours.

I am definitely not against the extra "work" involved with cloth diapers, which (please someone correct me if I'm wrong) is only going to be doing extra laundry. Cloth diapers are comparable to disposable diapers if not better, they are softer on the skin eliminating diaper rash worries, they help make a happy planet and ultimately save you money!

If anyone is already using cloth diapers or at least speaks their language, I could use all the help I can get! From the most part, the feedback that I'm getting makes sense in that I will have to inevitably try out a few brands and styles before I figure out what works best for my baby.

Notice I haven't even looked at strollers yet! Not sure that we'll even be using one at the beginning. We live in Manhattan so space in our apartment is limited but I definitely want to register for one anyway because we will use it eventually. Even then, I know Daddy-to-be's favorite thing in the world is going to be whatever baby sling we choose. But that's an item we'll look into next week!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Nutritional Stress

I have been vegan for 6 months. Well, it'll be 6 months exactly tomorrow. It was a decision that I made mostly for the health benefits and I've never looked back. In the past 6 months my energy has increased, I've learned how to cook and I am overall more involved with what goes into my belly. My decision to continue on my vegan journey is no longer limited to just the health benefits, but it involves ethical reasons as well. Now that I'm pregnant, I get a lot of extra attention to my choice of eating habits.

There is absolutely no medical proof that I need to eat animal products for the well being for my baby. Everything I need I can get from a vegan diet so long as I eat correctly. Same can be said for non-vegans. Stuffing your face with a double cheeseburger from a fast food joint doesn't mean you are meeting your protein needs for the day.

I have zero intention of changing my lifestyle now just because the majority of society seems to be close minded about the way I choose to eat. I struggle with this when I go to the doctor or every time I tell someone new that I'm pregnant. The only nutritional value that I cannot obtain from a vegan diet is vitamin B-12, which I compensate for in my daily multi-vitamin.

With all of that said, I have never been so aware of everything that I eat as I have been since the moment I found out I was pregnant. The first few weeks I did exceptionally well, eating fresh fruits and veggies every day in between meals. The further I've gone into my pregnancy with the nausea and the discomforts kicking in though, the more I worry about if I'm eating well enough.

Since this pregnancy was a surprise (a good surprise of course) I didn't get to prepare my body for pregnancy. Unfortunately, I am overweight to begin with and I've never been a super active person. I make it a point to walk as much as I can now to ensure that I am not sitting on my butt all day, but I feel that isn't enough. At the same time, I am scared to try jogging or other forms of cardio (which I've done before), since I'm still in my first trimester.

All of this is just stress building up which goes against my trying to stay positive throughout this exceptional journey I'm on. I am somewhat of a perfectionist when I want to be and this is definitely one of those times where I want everything to be perfect. I don't want to do anything that may cause my little peanut to be hurt in any way.

In the mean time, all I can do is try my best. Eat fruits & veggies, take my vitamins daily and walk around the block for 20 minutes. If I can do more than that I will but I shouldn't focus on it too much because it's emotionally draining!

My next prenatal appointment is in exactly 2 weeks and my next sonogram in 3 weeks and 2 days. I will occupy the time til then reading my new book and researching more earth friendly baby products. :)

Monday, March 7, 2011

Our First Registry - Our Dream Crib!

Hubby & I made a huge decision yesterday. We have agreed on a crib! This might not sound like a big deal to most people. I am going to safely assume that most people choose their crib and nursery set from whatever main corporate store they are doing their baby registry at, such as Babies R Us or Buy Buy Baby. However, Mr. Daddy-to-be has made it very clear that this entire process is going to be very untraditional. Just the fact that he has opinions and wants to be a part of everything has me excited (and relieved!). We are eco-conscious in our everyday lives, so it makes sense to make earth friendly decisions with the products we will use for our baby. The moment I realized how toxic some of the cribs from the corporate stores are, the sooner I was able to get on board with Hubby's "bamboo crib" idea.

This was until I saw the prices of said cribs. Bamboo is one the fastest growing plants, making it a renewable source, not to mention that it regenerates on its own. The bamboo cribs we saw online are gorgeous, such as the ones here in New York City from DucDuc with the added benefit that they are made locally. Sadly, we are in no position to purchase or ask for $1,500+ cribs.  My family has been more than supportive and keep telling me not to stress the big ticket items, like the crib, bedding, stroller, car seat, etc. But surely they say this with the average corporate store prices in mind.

That being said, I began researching other earth friendly materials and price-friendly nursery furniture. I took into consideration that our baby will be in our room for the first few months and we don't have space for a crib in there (not yet anyway). I will be breast feeding so I definitely want the baby as close to me as possible for the convenience of late night feedings as well. With everything taken into consideration, I finally found and immediately fell in love with the STOKKE SLEEPI System Crib. Yes, the price is still more than what I would like it to be, but Hubby was right (yet again) when he said that if we start compromising our values for things now, it's going to eventually compromise our entire lifestyle and how we ultimately want to raise our child.



With that said, here are some of the reasons why I LOVE this crib: Bassinet and crib in one without the need to purchase them separately. The bassinet is good until the baby is 6 months old, giving us time to figure out the space issue once we need to convert it to the full size crib. It's made of cultivated beechwood and uses non-toxic finishes, eliminating chemicals and the worry that our baby will be exposed to them. It converts to a toddler bed or even 2 chairs once your child has outgrown the crib which is realistic because it has a 7 year warranty. They expect you to have it until your child is 7 and they actually cover the parts for that long which I think is pretty incredible. On an aesthetic note I love that the crib is oval, which to me simply made it look different and modern. Once I saw the video demo and heard that it's oval because it's imitating the shape of the mother's womb, I was completely sold. I love love love the canopy option, which I definitely plan on using. I think it makes it look so soft and innocent. Really I could go on and on about this crib but really the best part is the fact that Hubby agreed and so I registered for it right away. :)



I am sad however that Baby Earth doesn't have a physical store here in NYC, I would have preferred to have my registry at a single store and I love that they actually have an entire section of their store devoted to eco-friendly baby products. I hope it won't look crazy when people ask me where I'm registered and I end up giving them the names of about 5 stores (I have a funny feeling this is what will end up happening).

I should also mention that I finally purchased my first pregnancy book. Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. After downloading a sample of every conceivable pregnancy book on my NookColor about a month ago when I found out I was expecting, this is the only book that I felt was worth purchasing so that I may read it in its entirety. It was recommended to me by a good friend of mine that I've known since middle school who had 2 natural births and knows first hand what a beautiful and empowering experience natural birth is. I feel like I am slowly fading out of the "I can't believe I'm pregnant" phase and really just embracing this miraculous journey I'm on. I am opening my heart and my mind to all of the positive things that are coming my way thanks to having this little peanut growing inside me.

I intend to cherish every second. Even the times when I have to hold my breath because we are passing by a chocolate shop or the 5 times I get up in the middle of the night to tinkle. These are all my rites of passage into motherhood.

In the mean time, I have begun a piggy bank to save up for our dream crib in the understandable event that no one gets it for us. Donations are always welcome. ;)

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Baby Name Game

It has begun! Hubby and I have officially started throwing out name possibilities. I won't be listing them here because I am not quite ready for other people's opinions. And boy does everyone seem to have an opinion about absolutely everything, it's exhausting!

I will however say that I seem to be throwing out more girl names and Mike has been throwing out more boy names. While we both want a healthy and happy baby it's difficult to shy away from the fact that we do have slight gender preferences.

As far as strategizing for a name, my biggest concern right now is what last name we will give the baby. We're not married, nor do we plan to be. This is not because we don't want to spend the rest of our lives together, we just disagree with the legalities of marriage. At the very most we would have some kind of celebration of our love or something equally cheesy. But that's a topic for another time perhaps. The point is, we obviously have different last names.

What to do when baby arrives? I would really like for us to all share a last name and I don't believe in hyphenating or "merging" them together. That is just lengthy and annoying. (My personal opinion-really hope no one takes this personal as I am not judging anyone). I have zero attachment to my last name, mostly because my father and his side of the family are all jerks. I don't believe Mike has any attachment to his last name either. But we can't just give Peanut a third random last name. Which brings us back to square one.

This all bothers me because the three of us will be a family. I keep fighting against my gut feeling that having the same name would make us more of a family than if we had different last names, somehow tying us closer together, but I know that's not true. Case in point, my mom & dad. Having the same last name did not stop us from being a broken family.

Really the more I write on this subject the more I realize I kind of just needed to vent a little bit. At the end of the day what matters the most to both of us is that we are together, healthy and happy, loving and supporting one another. We'll figure out the logistics of it eventually. We have 7 months to do so!

Choosing Peanut's first name will definitely be fun though. It has been so far. Hubby & I had such different opinions about what kind of name our child should have. The gap has been closing in more and more as we continue to explore new names. I wonder how soon we'll be able to agree on one once we know the gender!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

8 Weeks Pregnant = Morning Sickness?

I am 8 weeks pregnant today! I thought I was one of the lucky ones. Everyone kept asking me from the day I found out I was pregnant if I had been getting nauseous, having aversions to specific foods or weird cravings. I would grin from ear to ear and say "No! I feel perfectly normal!" Well that all changed the past few days.

Apparently my "morning sickness" is more like "evening sickness". I'm not throwing up as much as just getting extremely nauseous making it difficult for me to fall asleep. Though I must admit, once I'm asleep I am completely knocked out (except for the 3 or 4 times I get up to tinkle).

So yeah, being pregnant is so much fun! I can't be around chocolate. Chocolate. I can't even say the word without throwing up in my mouth a little bit. Gross, I know, but clearly this baby is not a chocolate lover like I am...or once was. It's the one thing that will without a doubt make me sick.

As far as cravings, I haven't been able to determine if these count or not, but I get hungry every few hours and when it's time for a snack I always go for tomatoes and cucumbers. Or grapes. Mmm, grapes. Anyone who knows me knows that even now as a vegan, I hardly ever go for the fruits & veggies first. But baby wants greens and sweets from fruits so that is what baby gets!

I suppose I am one of the lucky ones. My baby doesn't like chocolate, which the way I consume it couldn't possibly be healthy, and asks for nutritious things like apples & sometimes even things that I'm not too fond of like broccoli. I have actually lost a few pounds in the past few weeks (not that I am trying to). I've made a point to walk as much as I can. I get off early on the train and use other tricks like that and I manage to walk 30-60 minutes a day.

Daddy-to-be is very supportive, even when I have to ask him to eat in a different room because I just can't stand the smell. >.<

The most important thing for me right now is to be healthy. Healthy mommy equals healthy baby. :)