My Baby Shower! (Miami June 11)

Anyone who has been following me on twitter is familiar with the ups & downs that I've had about my baby shower. From not wanting one, to trying to plan it myself in NYC, to being completely depressed about my family missing out on it to just saying F* it & flying to Miami so that my aunt could throw one for me. Even when that was settled I created drama over food, decorations, games, guest list and CAKE. I think we all remember my vegan cake/cupcake issues. But I'm happy to say that it ALL turned out wonderfully!

My aunt did a lovely job with the decorations & party favors, the food was delicious (that of which I was able to eat of course), the cake was gorgeous even though I wasn't able to taste it and my friends & family were all there which is what mattered to me the most. :)

My banner :)

Party favors/games table

My beautiful (but non-vegan) cake

Half dozen vegan chocolate cupcakes just for me ;)

With my mommy <3

My baby shower was the same day as my mommy's birthday & DH's sister had turned 16 the day before. We had a triple celebration! I don't have all of the pictures yet but we played baby shower bingo, everyone cut a piece of string trying to guess the size of my belly (everyone also tried to cheat by hugging me prior to the game!) and the one I probably had the most fun with was that we couldn't say the word "baby". A lot of people, especially Elsa, DH's sister, had great strategy for getting people to mess up and she ultimately won the game. :)

My family <3 Grandma, mom, auntie & cousin

Another family shot :)

Two of my best friends Barbie & Griselda

About to enjoy my cupcake!

Mom always taking a picture of me eating. That's my friend Natalie from high school, so thankful she went! 

Opening gifts! That's a baby einstein turtle, so cute. 

Singing happy birthday to my mom & SIL

Family & friends :)

My friends poking Teth Adam the whole night ;)

Dancing with my mom

Those are the main pictures I have from my camera. Luckily my mom & Elsa helped a lot taking pics with my camera, the rest are on my aunt's friend's camera so I am anxiously awaiting those! She's the one who captured us playing the games & me with the rest of the guests who were able to go.

I feel bad because about 30 people had RSVPd yes but only half showed up so my aunt had a lot of leftover food & party favors. But honestly, those who did go are all people who truly love me, people I've known for years & I'm just so thankful that they were there to help make my shower such a special memorable day.

Perhaps the only awkward thing of the day was that everyone was talking to my belly for EXTENDED periods of time, Lol. You all know I love getting belly rubs (from people I know anyway) but everyone was trying to motivate Teth Adam to kick or punch so they could feel him. It was sweet, but still awkward. :)

The baby shower started around 3pm and didn't finish til around midnight. It was a very typical hispanic shower with mojitos, presidente beer & tequila shots. I even danced reggaeton with my mom! It was an unforgettable day and I have no regrets of the path that led me there. :)

**EDIT**

I finally received pictures from my aunt's friend Bobbie's camera. She was an amazing help throughout the baby shower and I'm extremely thankful! Here are a few pics of people measuring my belly. :)

My grandma 

She was sad she didn't win ^_^

My auntie

Also not the winner

My mom (who cheated by the way!)

And she still did not win!

My SIL was the closest & won :)

Miami June 8-10

I'm not typically a nervous flyer. I have flown by myself on a few occasions & as long as I have some kind of entertainment I'm okay. However, something about flying while pregnant made me lose sleep the night before taking this trip. I did a lot of meditating to reduce stress & anxiety & even listened to my hypnobirthing tracks on the plane to stay in a state of serenity.

Once I landed, my mom was waiting for my in the airport. From the moment we greeted each other, we were glued at the hip the whole week!

Me & Mommy (grandma in the back!)

The first three days of the trip were mostly family focused. Wednesday & Thursday I spent the whole day with my mom, visited my grandma, got to see my aunt & cousin, even chatted up some of the neighbors. A few hours after landing on Wednesday we went to Whole Foods so that I could do my vegan grocery shopping, which I'm thrilled to say my mom actually ate all my cooking this time!

At Whole Foods with a vegan cookie, yum!

First time seeing my auntie since being preggers :)

Eating a vegan cold-cut sandwich at my grandma's

My 9yo cousin who's already my height!

It was amazing to see my family. My mom & my grandma I had just seen for Mother's Day here in NYC but it was of course wonderful to see them again. Seeing everyone else though was so much fun because  I got a lot of belly rubs & belly pokes. Seeing their faces when they saw my belly for the first time was just priceless. 

Thursday was the calmest day. I stayed home with my mom, just the two of us. I helped her with some laundry, her aunt, who I've always called grandma, stopped by to see me & we really just spent the day talking. Oh yeah, and she had me "model" around the apartment, hehee. 

Helping with laundry

Modeling on the couch

Showing off her new tv

My "grandma"

Sitting on my mom's lap 

Friday we went to my aunt's house since that is where the baby shower was going to be held the following day. We helped her finish up the decorations & started prepping the food. By "we" I of course mean everyone but me. I played with Gabriel (my cousin) on the Wii & he taught me how to play Yankee Doodle on the piano. :)

Playing Rock Band

Playing piano

With my auntie's hubby & his parents

Last modeling pose at my mommy's house

That about wraps up my first 3 days in Miami. Lots of quality time with my family. Next entry will be all about my baby shower!! I hope to post that one soon. Choosing what pictures to post will be difficult, there are so many to choose from! :)

New Milestone - We've Chosen A Name!

Mike has intuitively known from the moment we learned I was pregnant that we were having a boy. I refused to play the "name game" until we knew for sure. Once we confirmed (twice!) with the sonograms, we started what I thought would be a never ending battle of throwing out every boy name ever imaginable.

Yesterday, on our way to the movies, it just kind of happened. There was a name he really wanted & I had a few of my own. He fused his together with one of my favorites and I just fell in love with it! When we came home I started looking up the meanings & origins of the names, ensuring easy spelling & pronunciation and as little wiggle room for teasing as possible.

And with that, I am thrilled to say...We have finally chosen a name for our son! We're no longer calling him Peanut around the house. I haven't decided yet if we'll be sharing with family & friends, let alone our internet family.

If we do decide to share, I'll definitely be announcing it in the form of a blog entry. :) If not, then everyone will just have to wait until he's born! I just hope our son loves his name as much as we do.

When you chose your child's name, did you share it with everyone right away? Did you wait until he was born? If you could do it over again, would you make the same decision? And here's another fun one: other moms have told me to have a back-up name just in case when I see his face he doesn't look like the name we've chosen. Did you have a back-up list? Choosing one name was hard enough! I'd love to hear your thoughts, feedback, experience. :)

Thankful Thursday - 21 weeks pregnant

So much has been going on lately, so many ups and downs (these pregnancy hormones are no joke!) that it's nice to take a minute and reflect on a few of the very positive things in my life. I was inspired to do this now, besides, it'll be Thursday in less than an hour. ;)

I'm thankful for my growing baby boy (21 weeks)

I'm thankful for my other baby =^_^=

I'm thankful for being with the love of my life

Recap May 5th-May 31st

So much has happened since the last time that I wrote a blog entry that I will do my best to keep this short while at the same time including as much of what's happened as possible. But mostly, lots of pictures!!

Last time I was here, I was taking guesses on whether I was having a boy or a girl. I'd like to thank everyone who helped make that so much fun for me. I know there are others who guessed that I wasn't able to name & I'm sorry but that was the week my family was here & I barely got on the computer! Obviously the results are in and I'm having a BOY! :D

I had an elective sonogram done on Thursday, May 5th at GoldenView UltraSound the day after my mom & grandma arrived from Miami. We got to see our baby on a huge screen in a nice private room with soft lullaby music playing in the background. It was beyond overwhelming. Our little peanut did the most important thing which was to show the goods. :)

Money Shot!

After he showed us his pickle he decided to be shy & gave us a hard time to see his pretty little face, but I did get to see him to do this awesome flip in my belly in his attempt to bury his face. I'm so glad I sprung for the DVD package!

His hand on his cheek

My mom & grandma's visit was absolutely amazing. It got a bit stressful at times (isn't that how all families are?) but it was definitely one of the best weeks I've ever had. Hubby was extremely helpful and supportive while they were here and he even surprised the 3 of us with flowers on Mother's Day.

For my first Mother's Day, I shocked mom & grandma by taking them to St. Patrick's Cathedral for a special mass (I haven't been to mass since I was about 14). We then walked along 5th avenue & had lunch at Central Park. The other days were spent buying things for baby at Babies R Us (I finally started my registry that day!), showing them around China Town which they loved and doing a little bit of sight seeing. 

Mom & Grandma when they just arrived

With my mom on the train

Babies R Us scan gun! :)

Mom with her Mother's Day flowers

My Mother's Day flowers

In front of their favorite store

In Central Park

After my mom & grandma left I stayed in nesting mode to distract myself from how empty the apartment felt with them gone. I think even my cat was starting to miss them since my grandma would let her sleep next to her on the bed. Hubby had already bought me my awesome glider from Craigslist. (Lucky it has blue cushions since we are having a boy after all!). And since mom & grandma went a little nuts buying baby things (and my auntie had sent me stuff too!) I now needed storage space to put away the itty bitty clothes. :)

Glider with baby's first toys

Baby's dresser & wooden rocking horse (both also from CraigsList!)

Kitty guarding baby's books

Itty bitty boy clothes! 

Itty bitty socks, mittens & hats!

Itty bitty blankets, wash cloths & bibs :) 

The Graco Stroller I won :)

Peanut's Co-Sleeper 

I've kept busy not just doing things around the house but I took an awesome baby wearing workshop at Metro Minis which inspired Hubby to practice using blankets around the house with stuffed animals. 

I also finished my registries, one at Babies R Us, the other at Metro Minis for cloth diapers & baby wearing essentials. Somewhere along the lines of nesting & completing the registries I sort of hit this funk where I realized I wouldn't be having a baby shower. Living in NYC I haven't exactly made any friends outside of Hubby's little circle. I spent two days kind of obsessing over it, with crazy ups and downs until I decided there was only one solution: Go to Miami to be with my family & friends there. My aunt had offered to throw me a baby shower since day one, so that is exactly what we're doing!

I leave next week on the 8th & the baby shower will be Saturday the 11th (my mommy's 61st birthday!). I'll only be 22 weeks pregnant but I'm just not comfortable flying any later than that. I'll be in Miami for a week so hopefully that will be enough time to see everyone & show off my beautiful pregnant belly. :)

Vegan baby shower cake "research" at Whole Foods

I finally opted for a less expensive banner ;)

My auntie found a ton of cute Noah's Ark themed goodies at the dollar store

While I had gone back & forth on this whole baby shower business I am extremely happy to be flying home for a week to see my mom & grandma again and for the rest of my family to see me. I have been trying to be as involved as possible with the shower because I'm just so excited but my aunt keeps telling me to just sit back & enjoy, so I am trying to do that. :)

Baby Shower Crafts ^_^

The 28th was my niece's 1st birthday party which was a lot of work but so much fun! I baked 3 dozen vegan vanilla cupcakes which I'm proud to say were an absolute hit. During the middle of the party I grabbed a blanket and fell asleep under a tree with Hubby for a good hour or so. I wish someone would've snapped a picture of that! I even missed them singing happy birthday but I was there for everything else. O_o 

There was a clown & face painting which I think the adults enjoyed more than the children. It was a beautiful Saturday & I got so many belly rubs! 

Birthday Girl! 

Stork face painting

With Hubby <3

Blue flower balloon bracelet

My cupcakes!

I guess it's been a pretty eventful couple of weeks! Hopefully this is me returning to the blogging world on a more regular basis. As far as my pregnancy, everything is going wonderfully. I had my anatomy scan on the 26th & everything looks normal & healthy. Baby boy just loves to show his junk too, so we got to confirm once again that we are definitely having a boy. :D

I'm 21 weeks pregnant today. My belly just keeps growing & growing & every day I feel baby move more & more. I haven't gained much weight or acquired any new symptoms luckily so sometimes I really do forget that I'm pregnant! 

I'm looking forward to next week so I'll keep my blog up to date so that I can keep everyone updated on my Miami adventures!! <3

Boy or Girl??

My mom and grandma are flying in today from Florida to visit me for my first Mother's Day. I'm actually supposed to be getting ready to go pick them up at the airport soon! This year my gift to them is going to be a sneak peek at the baby. I have booked an elective sonogram to determine the gender at GoldenView Ultrasound tomorrow morning at 9:30amEST.

Hopefully Peanut will show the goods! Today will be a busy day but I am trying to collect guesses and while I'm sure there's a better way to do it, I'm going to list the ones I already have here. If anyone else wants to give it a go before I reveal tomorrow, please leave a comment!! :)

BOY
Hubby who is 100% sure it's a boy
Grandma
Grandpa (may he RIP) in my dreams said I'm having a boy
Auntie
Dad
SIL-Jessie
@angela0916
@JayBee838
@thedaily_poop
@Sheepmama

GIRL
Mom
BIL-Louis
Griselda
Vicky
Calleah
@ToniRaquel
@twopinklinez
@ReluctantMama
@RaisingKailey
@FreeChildhood
@gossamersmiles
@happyascanbe3


You have until my big reveal tomorrow to put your guess in. There's no prize except knowing that you were right and rubbing it in everyone else's face. ;) As for my guess, I would love a girl, but due mostly to Hubby's brainwashing, I've been having strong BOY vibes. I guess we'll see tomorrow morning!

Not A Daddy's Little Girl

**Disclaimer: This is a long & personal entry that may bore some of you, but I needed to sort out my feelings and I do that best by writing.**

I was born in New Orleans, Louisiana and was raised by my mom in Miami, Florida after my parents divorced when I was about 4 years old. My mom's side of the family lived in Miami so we moved to be close to them. Although I had my grandma, aunt and uncle close by, it always felt like it was just me & my mom in the beginning. With the exception of a few "rebellious" years on my end once I graduated high school, I've always been extremely close to my mom for that reason.

Growing up my mom used to always tell me that I could call my father and have a relationship with him whenever I wanted to. But he always moved around, changed his number, or was simply impossible to reach. Whenever I did get to talk to him I would cry and ask him why he wasn't around. Every birthday I was hopeful he'd call. Every Christmas I held out for a gift from him. In elementary school I struggled every year with Father's Day arts & crafts; I'd always make something for my mom. As I entered high school my concerns turned to who I would have the "Father-Daughter" dance with at my quinceañera (hispanic sweet 16) or at my wedding. I think it was around that time that I started to bond more with my uncle as he had been the only strong, constant male figure in my life. Even today I often say he's my dad & while I never did have a quinceañera, if Mike & I ever get married it's my uncle who will walk me down the aisle.

Even seeing dads with their daughters on the street affects me. Movies, books, songs dealing with father-daughter relationships are automatic tear-jerkers for me. This has been my whole life, a pain that I have always carried around with me that I just can't seem to shake off. Not sure I ever will be able to either. As a matter of fact, having met Mike's father & having developed a caring relationship with him was incredibly difficult for me too. I would get sick & he'd buy me medicine, make sure I was feeling ok. Now that he's in Florida he still asks to talk to me to see how I'm doing. For father's day & other "just-because" occasions I would bake him a cake & then cry that this man who barely knew me showed me more love than my biological father. I would then remind Mike how lucky he was to have a loving father in his life.

It wasn't like I never spoke to my father or saw him in all those years though. When I was about 16 I did go visit him. He was living in Orlando at the time with his new wife and 2 year old son. It was extremely difficult to sort my feelings. I felt I was betraying my mom by spending time with them. It was even harder to have conversations with my dad because as I got older my feelings of hurt and anger didn't result in crying as much as it did in me cursing him out for being absent from my life.

Also with time I learned more stories about why my parents got divorced and some of the things he put my mom through. That made it even harder to want to talk or see this man who was "my father". My whole life has been this back and forth of not being quite sure how to feel about my dad. I always felt like I was the one initiating conversations which would result in frustration and ultimately me not wanting anything to with him.

I don't remember where I was or who told me the news but the day I found out my father & his wife had a new baby daughter I lost it. Somehow him having a son didn't affect me, seeing pictures of them together, him calling me his sister. Being an only child I thought it was neat that I had a half-brother. Once I learned he had another daughter, the pain that shot through my body was indescribable. Then came facebook. Seeing pictures of their perfect family taking trips together, going to church, school events, him holding his kids. Why couldn't he have had that life with me and my mom? What changed? Were we not special enough? This still hurts, I just don't think about it because why do that to myself.

Even through that I would still manage to pick up the phone wanting him to be in my life but nothing ever stuck with him. Last year my grandfather passed away & his sister, technically my aunt, went to the funeral. It was weird for me because I was sad about my grandfather but angry that she was there, angry my father had not called me to see how I was. It got worse when I found out my father had been calling my mom and getting updates about me. WHY NOT CALL ME DIRECTLY?

I blocked him on facebook and swore him off. That was the last time I would cry because of my "daddy issues." That would be the last time he'd hurt me. That would be the last time I would ever give having a relationship with him a second thought.

And then I found out I was pregnant. How could I deny my baby the chance to know his (or her) grandfather. For better or worse, he is family. For better or worse, he is part of the reason I'm on this earth. As much as I've always hated it, sometimes I would do or say something and my mom would say I was the spitting image of my father. I didn't want to be anything like him, I don't even want to carry his last name, but blood is thicker than water, I couldn't deny that. Once again I found myself trying to call him but the number was disconnected. I emailed him and didn't get a reply. Then I remembered he was on facebook. I un-blocked him and sent him a dry message asking him to call me. I didn't think he would.

But then this Monday my phone rang. I've since made the decision to put the past behind me (that is where it belongs after all, right?) and move forward. He knows that it's in his hands to continue this relationship with me and his grandchild. I'm not going to chase after him or be upset if this withers away. (Ok, I'll be upset, but I won't be surprised). He was shocked and very happy to hear that I'm pregnant. He updated me with his new contact info and I promptly emailed him pictures & the sound clips of peanut's heart beat. He's overwhelmed and excited that I'm including him in this awesome journey.

I have faith that this won't bite me in the butt. I'd rather regret something I did versus something I didn't do and suffer the "what if" syndrome. For now I'm taking it day by day as I continue to focus on the positive. Besides, everything I have gone through, every morsel of emotion, makes me who I am today & I love that person. :)

My pregnancy is coming along really well. I'm now 16 weeks and 2 days pregnant. 4 months already! I myself can't believe it sometimes. I continue to thank my lucky stars that I am having a healthy pregnancy.

**Thank you for reading**